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How to remain friends with people who got better internships than you

Judging by social media, it looks like everyone had really fulfilling and impressive internships this summer. Well, almost everyone.

For those of you like me, who grew up as overachievers and thus have a tendency to overestimate your importance professionally, you probably imagined this summer you would land one of those “name-brand” internships.

You would live in “the city” — New York, duh — and you would go to happy hour with your young, professional friends after a long day doing very productive and integral tasks for your company.

You would build skills and make connections that would inspire you to get through the cold, harsh, unloving winters in Syracuse to next summer where you could either return to your golden internship or drop that sweet name and get hired somewhere even better.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.



If for whatever reason you were forced to resort to your back-up plan for your back-up plan this summer like I was, you are probably feeling tiny — but surprisingly deep — stabs of jealousy with every back-to-school, back-to-pitting-everyone-against-one-another first day of class introductions.

To help both you and I get through this petty time in our lives, I have painstakingly researched exactly how we can get through this and still retain some semblance of our original networking connections. I mean friendships.

  1. Craft thoughtful and personal questions to ask them: Your friend had an amazing experience this summer. Isn’t that great? Yeah, I’ll stop bringing it up. It hurts me too. However, since it was such a big part of their life, as their friend, you should want to hear about it. I know, I know, I don’t want to hear about it either. But, unfortunately, this is one of those times you have to play by the obligations of friendship. Your BFF definitely did not want to listen to you drunk ramble for two hours about how “Bee Movie” is why you don’t trust establishments. You sounded like a jerk. Now suck it up and listen to their “Bee Movie.”
  2. Remember that every LinkedIn connection will fall into place: Everyone is in a network. It’s kind of like flies in a spider web, all connected with some other bugs in the way. Now that your friend has had national exposure in a successful spider web — I mean company —  it’s pretty much like you have had national exposure in a successful spider web —  I mean company. You probably have a second degree connection with Steve Jobs now.
  3. You are awesome: I feel like I haven’t given you enough validation throughout this piece, and if you are anything like me — which I know you are, you little unemployable, overly-sensitive peach — you probably need it by now. I know you still need to be reminded of your magnificence. Keep on keeping on, you beautiful, talented gold star.

These steps can be condensed by just expressing a genuine sense of respect and appreciation for your friends along with the knowledge that one person’s success does not equal another’s failure. But we both know that’s easier said than done. So if you follow these steps, or CRY for short, you can be assured that your friendships will stay strong until you likely lose touch after graduation.

Patty Terhune is a senior policy studies and television, radio and film dual major. She got rejected from every internship she applied to this summer so instead she read books and took long after-dinner walks. What a loser. You can follow her on Twitter @pattyterhune or reach her at paterhun@syr.edu





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