Syracuse residents will have the chance to cuddle and be cuddled at a certified Cuddle Party on Sunday.

The need for touch is a three-day need, said Len Daley, a psychological counselor and the first facilitator to be certified by Cuddle Party, a nonprofit organization with event facilitators around the world. Cuddle parties are nonsexual social events for adults to explore affection, boundaries and communication.

“Harvest Cuddle Party!,” hosted by Cuddle Party Syracuse, will take place in the Village of East Syracuse on Sunday from 2-5 p.m. Syracuse cuddle parties are free and are held once every season. Ten to 20 people typically attend, and the ages of attendees range from 18 to 80.

“We have students. We have people that are fresh out of a relationship. We have people that have been divorced and people that have had traumatic experiences where they have been abused,” said Thel Eonard, the facilitator of Cuddle Party Syracuse!

Belinda Porter, a Syracuse resident who has participated in three cuddle parties, uses the seasonal event to find and make connections with people.

“Touch is important to me,” Porter said. “Our society is reluctant to touch people, and I find that the cuddle parties are a good way to get that touch and also get educated about boundaries and consent.”

Cuddle Party came about on Feb. 29, 2004 when founder Reid Mihalko threw an event for his massage therapist acquaintances whose jobs involved touching others but not getting touched.

Cuddle parties are a means for adults to experience a release of oxytocin in a safe environment. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that is released from touch and, for example, occurs between mothers and infants during breastfeeding. Eonard said oxytocin makes people feel dreamy, sleepy and at ease.

“Everyone can experience oxytocin, and it’s one of the most important natural highs,” Daley said.

Daley added that people have a psychological need for bonding and touch, and if these needs aren’t satisfied, they can develop symptoms like irritability and emotional fragility.

Cuddle Party attendees also explore consent and practice communication through talking to each other about their boundaries.

“It really empowers people to be honest with saying, ‘Yes,’ and to be honest with saying, ‘No,’” Eonard said. “We teach each other how to honor what our responses are, and we use touch as our benchmark of learning consent. But these skills can be applied to anything.”

Cuddle parties begin with a one-hour “welcoming circle” in which attendees listen to the rules, learn about different forms of touch and practice asking and responding with “yes” or “no.” Through this exercise, people figure out which kind of touch they like, Eonard said.

The next portion is “freestyle cuddling,” which involves attendees spooning each other in a “spoon train.”

“People are going, ‘Is it okay if I touch your arms?’ ‘Is it okay if I put my leg over your leg?’” Eonard said. “Someone will respond with, ‘No, I’d prefer if you didn’t do that. I’d rather you stroke my hair.’”

During cuddle parties, attendees are free to participate or sit on the side and observe. Eonard said people are allowed to arrive and leave at any time as long as they understand the rules. Safety is extremely important at the event, so the group ensures that the guests feel safe at all times.

“We make it clear that if anyone feels uncomfortable, they raise their hand,” Eonard said. “…At cuddle parties, we say attraction is fine, but acting on that attraction is not fine.”

Attendees are free to bring blankets, pillows and stuffed animals. Free transportation to and from the event in a “Cuddle Cab” is available for students.

Published on November 14, 2017 at 7:28 pm