On my first night as a student at Syracuse University, I wandered the streets to witness the nightlife. At one point, I was pulled aside by a group of older guys who had been drinking. They asked if I was a freshman. When I said I was, one of them started on about how I need to make the most of my time at SU.

He said I should do this by, as he grotesquely put it, having sex with as many girls as possible. He told me that the girls at SU are easy and that it doesn’t matter if they say “yes” or “no.” His remark was utterly repulsive and it even made his friends visibly uncomfortable.

As an unnerved freshman, I didn’t say anything. His friends didn’t say anything. It’s been two years, and in that time I have grown to recognize that although this guy doesn’t represent an entire population or an entire gender, what he said reflects a culture of harm. For example, men are not taking action when they witness sexual violence. They must hold one another accountable for derogatory espousals and actions with regard to women.

There is a damaging culture amongst heterosexual men at SU which stems from this lack of accountability. Essentially, men have forgotten their responsibility to take action against the culture of sexual violence, and they have instead placed the burden on women.

On Tuesday, Sept. 27, a large group of SU students protested outside Interfraternity Council chapter houses alleging sexual assault from members. They protested because they believe SU has not supported women in the fight against sexual violence and misconduct. 

The university and Chancellor Kent Syverud have stated their commitment to cracking down on campus sexual assault cases, but regardless of these statements, many women at SU have said they do not feel safe or protected here.

Both the SU administration and the men at Syracuse are complicit for fostering an unhealthy environment. Why does the culture among men at SU make it feel intrusive to attempt to uphold a collective culpability for the issue at hand? Is it that a large portion of college males do actually enter higher education with the wrong priorities?

Seth Quam is a former SU student who worked with the Office of Health Promotion to create a webpage called “Don’t Cancel That Class!” during his time on campus. It encouraged professors to bring in the Office of Health Promotion to facilitate a conversation about rape culture, violence prevention and healthy relationships instead of cancelling a class.

He also spoke about the topic of representation with regard to the university. “The university shows students what they value when they put up statues of athletes with decades long histories of sexual and relationship violence,” he said.

Quam spoke on violence prevention that targets men, referencing the visual of a “man box” from a TED Talk by Tony Porter. The idea is meant to help explain the environment in which men and boys are brought up and how it develops in them characteristics of masculinity by sheer compliance to the system. 

“The man box is a powerful thing,” Quam said. “It takes a lot of courage to step outside of the man box and hold each other accountable for objectifying women or aligning themselves with rape culture.”

Furthermore, men often maintain a collective consciousness with respect to the rules and laws as ordained by the patriarchy. This preserves a structure that silences perspectives and experiences that need to be heard in order to perpetuate the illusion that everything is fine the way it is and that the patriarchy is in no way flawed.

When men get together in group settings, many times there is what seems to be an incessant compulsion to talk about girls. This isn’t always unhealthy; men can have their gossip. However, there is a key component that makes the behavior unhealthy: men often try to one-up each other, both their words and their actions.

Men are burdened with less empathy than women, but empathy is where this problem begins and ends. Women have been carrying this fight against sexual violence for far too long while the damaging culture amongst men continues to permeate college campuses such as SU as well as society as a whole.

“It should not be survivors’ job to solve this problem. It’s on everyone, but particularly men, to reflect on the ways that we benefit from male privilege and the ways that we are complicit with the structures of men’s violence,” Quam said.

It’s simple enough for men to say that they support women, but what about when it’s their best friend drunk at a party spurting objectifying language, making a woman uncomfortable or worse? This is when it’s necessary for men to take action and stand up against injustice and violence against women. It’s the responsibility of every man to prevent this from happening.

Sam Bova is a junior writing and rhetoric major. His column appears biweekly. He can be reached at sabova@syr.edu.

Published on October 5, 2021 at 10:14 pm