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Column

A parasocial relationship shouldn’t replace genuine connection

Emma Lee | Design Editor

In an era where most of Gen Z are chronically online, having parasocial relationships can damage our real-life ones, our columnist writes.

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The average screen time of Gen-Zers sits at over seven hours a day. The majority of that time is spent on social media and streaming platforms. For Gen Z, app usage during which we view other users’ content is on the rise and more people are opting to keep up with their favorite celebrities and influencers over their friends and families.

Many young people consider themselves “chronically online,” myself included. Every Sunday, I cringe at my screen time notification. Just this past week, I enthusiastically waited for my favorite celebrities to post their Halloween costumes, rewatched all four of the Hunger Games movies and scrolled through X, formerly known as Twitter, to post about both of those things. My favorite, and only, hobbies cost me 10 hours of screen time.

When I first heard about the term “chronically online,” I didn’t necessarily view it as bad. I know too much screen time isn’t exactly a good thing, but after (before and during, too) a long day of class, extracurriculars and work, doesn’t everyone just want to rot in bed and watch your favorite movies and television shows? Being a student is exhausting and media can serve as a form of escapism.

For a moment, you’re not studying for a statistics midterm, you’re taking transfiguration at Hogwarts with Harry and Hermione. You’re not listening to music on your way to class but performing next to Beyonce at the Renaissance tour. You’re not doing your skin care routine before bed, instead you’re getting ready with your best friend Alix Earle for an exciting night out in Miami.



If you spend most of your day quoting TikTok sounds, find yourself romanticizing your dream life with your favorite celebrity a little too much or tend to talk in phrases only someone in the depths of stan Twitter would understand, one might call you chronically online. But don’t worry, I do all of those things, too.

Media escapism allows us to get away from our own lives and “have experiences” we could only dream of. Both terms might not sound that bad, but at what point does being chronically online and media escapism become unhealthy?

Parasocial relationships are just one example of the dangers of being chronically online. They can be anything from platonic to romantic, and are based on wanting to be close to or with the figures we’re obsessed with. With social media’s help, we can see aspects of and know information about online figures that we otherwise wouldn’t have. From what their homes look like to who their friends are, or what hobbies and interests they have, it’s all available, allowing us to both relate to them and further our obsessions. According to Time, 51 percent of Americans have experienced a parasocial relationship in some form.

Cindy Zhang | Digital Design Director

Our desire for connection with those who share our interests defines parasocial relationships, and who better shares your interests than those who you actively choose to follow?

During COVID-19, the only way we could communicate with other people was through our phones. Our days were consumed by an endless cycle of social media and different television shows and movies to the point where we were seeing celebrities, influencers and characters more than our own friends and family.

To an extent, these figures replaced the void that missing our friends and families created. For some, even post-pandemic, they’re continuing to do so, damaging our real-life relationships or preventing us from making new connections. When you pour all your time into something one-sided, you have little energy left to invest in your relationships in real-life.

A study done by the American College Health Association revealed that 64 percent of college students reported feeling lonely. Parasocial relationships can help students cope with those feelings, but they shouldn’t be the solution.

Unwinding online after a long day or keeping up with your favorite celebrities and influencers is something almost every college student does, and it’s not a practice we necessarily need to stop. Just taking a break from our phones to engage in conversations off screen and practicing mindfulness instead are only a few of the real-life alternatives that could benefit our lives offline. Instead of constantly checking Twitter or Instagram for new updates on your favorite influencer, send a message to someone you haven’t spoken to in awhile. Media escapism shouldn’t be our only way to unwind.

Kaitlyn Paige is a junior studying Public Relations. Her column appears bi-weekly, and she can be reached at kipaige@syr.edu.

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